Is Fall In Love Always This Painful?
by Shinku Amakusa
Summary: A piece of Mamori's mind and heart about Hiruma. One-sided love. Gomen for bad grammar, etc.. T T One-shot special for HiruMamoaholic! Please RnR, minna-san...


Shia: Waii! My next fanfic! How do you do, minna-san?? I've been on hiatus for weeks… or months? Hahahaha! ^^ I got many problems lately, and I was so desperate that I couldn't write anything. This time I wrote about Mamori's feeling towards Hiruma. Maybe it's not as good as you think. _Gomen ne_… But, I'll be very happy if you want to read and review. Hehehe…

Well, have a fun reading! ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21 and the lyrics. But I the quote is mine. hehehe... ^^

**Is Fall In Love Always This Painful?**

_Piece of Mamori's feeling…_

_By: Shinku Amakusa a.k.a Shia_

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_Words can hurt far worse than weapons, if they're aimed at the heart._

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Hiruma Youichi.

First impression about him?

I hate him.

He's just a gun-maniac who plays American football player which Sena joined. I couldn't let Sena play with such dangerous person. That's why I accepted to be his football team manager.

Time passed by. Every seconds I spent with him seemed like it used to be like that. I started to feel like it was natural for me to be with him. I didn't realize the feeling inside me, until it overflowing and I finally admit it to myself that I….

I'm in love with him.

Frankly speaking, there's nothing good about him. He's rude, heartless, annoying, and seemed like nothing's more important than American Football for him. I didn't even know why I love him. He never told me nice things, even once. I'm not surprised about this. I know him, at least I feel like that. I couldn't tell him about my feeling. I'm pretty sure that he'll die laughing if he hears me saying those things to him. I know him too well. It seemed impossible to reach his heart. That's why I decided to keep it in my heart for years.

One day, he said something to me…

I was cleaning the club house when he prepared himself to go home. He called me,

"Hey, fucking manager!"

"What?"

He walked to my place, stood beside me and said,

"Did you really not realize that someone is fucking attracted to you?"

I was frozen. What?

But… I knew it wasn't him. I never got the answer from him. He never told me. But I couldn't stop thinking about that. I let the time passed by without getting the answer. Such a stupid decision….

I couldn't stop thinking about his question. My heart was tortured by the fact that it wasn't him. Deep inside my heart, I hope the person he said was the person that I've been waiting for. His attitude towards me sometimes made me misunderstood. But, finally I got the answer.

It was a sunny day. He was playing guitar when I was doing my works beside him.

_Daitai itsumo doori ni_

_Sono kado wo magareba_

_Hitonami ni magire komi_

_Tokete kiete iku_

_Boku wa michi wo nakushi_

_Kotoba suranaku shite shimau _

_Dakedo hitotsu dake wa_

_Nokotteta nokotteta_

_Kimi no koe ga_

_Warau kao mo okaru kao mo subete_

_Boku wo arukaseru_

_Kumo ga kireta saki wo_

_Mitara kitto _

_Nee wakaru desho? (Nee wakaru desho?)_

That song… it was the song he loved the most. I turned my head to face him, and I asked him something,

"Could I have that song written in a paper? I also love that song…"

"Heh, why should I? Who do you think you are for me?" he answered with his mocking voice.

It stabbed me exactly in my heart. I knew it already. But, I've never expecting to hear this from his mouth. It's thousand times more hurt when he said it by himself.

I know he's rude, but I didn't know he could be this rude. My heart is crying. It's like telling me that I'm nothing in his eyes, my existence means nothing for him. How come he didn't feel anything when I fell head over heels for him like crazy? So unfair…

What should I do?

I can't erase him from my heart, even though he always said mean words towards me. Should I give up on this feeling? Or should I wait for him to look at me? Both are painful.

Is fall in love always this painful?

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Owari ~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

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Shia: How was it?? I'm sorry for my bad grammar etc. English is not my mother language, that's why I couldn't use it properly… hehehe… ^^ But, I'll try to improve! That's why, don't forget to leave me a review! I love reviews! ^^

Thank you for reading and reviewing my fics! _*bows*_


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